As I research how to best raise conciseness about singlism, I inevitably started to look at consciousness raising groups of radical feminists in the 1970s. Their goal was to leverage personal sharing for theory building and to further political action. One of my frustrations with my current path is that academia seems to be stuck in theory. I seek practical applications of theory or theory-informed activism. So, I am looking for historical inspiration of approaches who had similar goals. I found three chapters in three books assigned in a women’s studies course that address similar concerns from several different angles. The first chapter, Julia Balén’s “Practicing What We Teach” calls out the paradox that feminist scholars face (272):

We teach about oppression in the midst of privilege, fight for greater recognition even as it often means greater co-optation, and teach about the construction and politics of identities in order to empower as well as to deconstruct the categories produced. Feminist scholars operate within and inevitably in support of capitalism, classism, racism, sexism, ableism, heterosexism, elitism, imperialism, etc., while working to undermine their operations and effects. We work for change within institutions while in the process of “becoming” the institutions – being produced by them. In material terms, we find ourselves caught between a desire for better lives for ourselves – surely a mark of improvement in the world – and the knowledge that our own privilege is gained at the expense of others within current systems of power.

Balén suggests that we need to keep several things in mind to counter-act the forces of institutionalization while also reducing the discomfort produced by “living paradox” (272). Although these points are targeted at academia, I think they are important also for general movement building.

  • Questioning Identity: Feminists teach that identity is constructed and thus fluid and requiring questioning. To “practice what we teach, we need to keep all levels of identity consciously provisional and negotiable” (278).
  • Honor Diversity: Calls for unity inevitably hide complexity and diversity although unity might increase the visibility of a group. We need to utilize “multilayered approach[es] to develop greater articulation of the complexity of intellectual diversity [, which] resist any tokenizing” (280).
  • Create Alliances: These alliances need to cross institutional boundaries and can help with honoring diversity as long as we keep the lines of communication open (280).
  • Question Oppression: “There is no subject position fully ‘outside’ the system; only provisional opportunities for resistance within specific contexts exist. No one is free of the operations of oppression – internalized and/or externalized – and, therefore, each of us inevitably reproduces oppression in every moment that we are not actively resisting on every level.” (281) This requires constant vigilance about our own contribution to oppression and a willingness to remove our blinders. It requires that we are willing to listen to others who can point out our complicity in the system. It also, though, requires our patience and compassion: It can be painful to realize this complicity (278).
  • Challenge Meritocracies: “Meritocracies without full social justice are problematic at best and must always be regarded critically – including the ones we have successfully negotiated” (282). Being considered smarter than others might simply be a reflection of our access to better education, which in turn reflects privilege. We might also had the luxury to fully devote ourselves to studying rather than splitting our time with part-time jobs simply to survive.
  • Counteract Silencing: “Silencing is a primary mode of oppression; producing greater social justice requires practices that counter this tendency at every level” (282). We need to observe ourselves as we might be silencing others.

It is rather ironic to be reading about the privileging of certain disciplines by having stumbled on these books because a professor is reluctant to let me into her class because I did not take the required prerequisite… Clearly, this is an example of institutionalized knowledge: You have to have the background we require or else you are not welcome. That’s called silencing. I learned that term in the book, which is required reading in the prereq I haven’t taken…

Another chapter thematizes the North-South divide, which often becomes obvious in transnational projects lead by Northern feminists in Southern countries. Linda Peake and Karen de Souza share their experience and observations in “Feminist Academic and Activist Praxis in Service of the Transnational.” They particularly stress concerns with the “increasing corporatization of NGOs,” which often take away the local power and transfer it to the (corporate?) donors and sponsors of projects. Funders want to influence what is done with the money (110) and seek measurable results (111). Both require considerable time investment by the activists and often take them away from the work they find important. Especially problematic is that funders from the North impose their standards on Southern activists often without sufficient knowledge of the needs on the ground. Peake and de Souza are also raising concerns about the Northern academic feminist label, which all too often describes academics far removed from activism and often writing so convoluted that their work can only be understood by equally initiated academics. Individual women have made careers out of feminism and this tokenism blinds them to the realization that most women are still oppressed. Tokenism has clear system justification implications: Because we can point to women who “have made it,” we claim the end of patriarchy (or because we have an African-American US president, there is no more racism). As Stephen C. Wright documents, such claims are absurd and serve to maintain the status quo, sadly often especially by the tokens themselves. De Souza and Peake also caution that within activist organizations that train new activists, awareness needs to be maintained to avoid creating an elite of activists that are above untrained grassroots activists (113).

One aspect of this chapter I found particularly gratifying. I am trained in quantitative statistical methods and have always been somewhat taken aback with many feminists’ dismissal of these methods as chauvinist. Peake and de Souza also address this by calling for training in quantitative methods with particular emphasis on being able to evaluate the validity of this research (115). I have found such evaluations a tremendously powerful tool!

Finally, I read a chapter in a book that I almost dismissed because I had trouble understanding its introduction (elitist writing maybe?). Nancy A. Naples discusses her teaching method in “Negotiating the Politics of Experiential Learning in Women’s Studies: Lessons from the Community Action Project.” The CAP offers a way to incorporate some aspects of consciousness raising into the classroom, encouraging students to become theory-informed activists. Unfortunately, I found the chapter too sketchy to be useful since Naples does not detail the specific steps she asks students to take. But it was like a taste-sampler, with promise of satisfaction. So, I will do more research on this.

Now you can meddle in your single friends’ lives and earn money for doing so! Check out MatchCrew! Take a look at that website and notice how they are redefining meeting people (the only person you’re really interested in meeting is The One) and relationships (well, we know that one already: It’s only seepy relationship that counts).

Do you enjoy helping your friends meet new people?
We believe the desire to find the right partner in life is at the core of every person’s happiness, and it is a noble cause to help others to try and achieve that dream.

Yes, I enjoy helping friends meet new people! But apparently that doesn’t count if I don’t intend to help my friends meet the “right partner.” Just another friend isn’t what contributes to their happiness… This is just another way that we are taught that the only way to be happy is coupled.

And even worse:

[S]ingles that are striving to achieve the dream we all have – to find the one person we can’t live without.

No, that is not my dream! My dream is to create a job for myself that is meaningful while being connected with other people I care about and who care about me.

Of course, there’s also the obligatory self-justification:

I believe that matchmaking is a noble profession, because it gives you the opportunity to help people find personal happiness in a way that not everyone gets to experience in life. What we’re doing together, in our own small way, is revolutionary.

Revolutionary? Since when does supporting the status quo constitute a revolution?!? You are not “causing a complete or dramatic change” by institutionalizing meddling. Matchmakers have existed for a long, long time – and, yes, even those who got paid for it. Remember Yente?

I wonder what would happen if we use this tool for building relationships – you know, the kind where two or more people relate to each other, be it as friends, acquaintances or, yes, seepies…

The permaculture principle 10, as listed by David Holmgren, states “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” It might be the most applicable one to our relationships as well as our economies. It calls for diversity. How about a diversity of friends! If we focus all of our energy on one person and put all of our relational eggs in one basket, we might end up feeling rather lonely. Many of us who have been in seepy relationships know how alone one can be in those… It pays to have lots of relationships, intimate and otherwise. Close friends can help us sort out our life path. Acquaintances can be fun to hang out or watch a movie with. Why would anybody but their eggs in one basket? Because that’s the cultural messages we’re getting: You have to find The One and then you’ll do everything with him/her. It’s almost as if the ideas from agriculture have filtered into the rest of culture: Monogamy is the monoculture (huge fields of the same crop) of relationships. Maybe it’s time to diversify! That doesn’t necessarily mean polygamy. My parents have a pretty strong marriage and one of the things that seems to keep it strong is that they have a diverse set of friends – each has their own and some are in common. And such a diversified approach would probably help us all by increasing the social capital associated with involvement in civic groups since research points to marriage as a time and energy-sapper.

I have created a new blog – it’s a subblog to this one but I wanted it to be separate because, well, because it might actually contradict some stuff on here. I am rediscovering some old favorites. I have started meditating again (no, I have not changed my mind about Buddhism but I am enjoying listening to Stephen Batchelor). I am still a skeptic. I am rediscovering NVC. It just felt like I wanted to have a separate blog for my journey. We’ll see. Maybe the two blogs will merge again eventually – like the Singles by Choice blog – because there really are no separate parts in me but for now it felt right. So, if you want, please check it out! And if you have design comments, feel free to leave those in the “testing” post…

I know, this is something totally different, but my meandering has taken me to permaculture. It’s actually systems thinking in action, so maybe it’s not that far off my path after all. I got interested in it through my emerging interest in the transitions movement, which I learned about through a podcast, which I learned about through one of the social psychologists I’ve been reading (see, I can even retrace my meandering!). The principles – as vaguely as I understand them at this point – are also touched on in this interview. Debal Deb points out that savannas are not actually the result of deforestation (as assumed by Western economists) but are rather the result of careful farming that turned deserts into savannas!

In any rate, I had some trouble finding really basic information on permaculture – information more about the underlying philosophy than on how to design a whole garden. Since I am starting to stumble on things, I thought I’d share!

The permaculture principles are summarized here, including a 16-page summary. If you don’t feel like reading, you can check out this video. There are six parts to this show – you can find the others in the usual youtube fashion.

The video doesn’t mention this directly but agriculture is enabling us to feed more people than are needed to grow the food – and the industrialization of agriculture has increased the number of people one farmer can support. This is partly what is driving overpopulation – we think the earth can sustain so many more people than it really can. We are depleting this resource. The destructiveness of agriculture that Mollison mentions goes beyond the killing of species. It is endangering the whole planet since overpopulation is one of the forces behind global climate disruption.

The word that best captures what permaculture represents according to this video: Relationship. It reflects the expansion of the meaning of that word to again include everything we’re related to, not just The One… This video drops into religion, unfortunately, linking permaculture and the divine because it’s “all about relationship.” I am not quite getting that… Bill Mollison did not mention any of this, so hopefully, there’s permaculture without new age mumbo-jumbo.

If you know of any other great intro resources, especially hands-on training without spirituality, please add them in the comments!

In her 2007 essay “Gay Divorce: Thoughts on the Legal Regulation of Marriage,” Claudia Card argues that marriage is an evil institution. An evil institution consists of two foreseeable and causally linked components: “Culpable wrongdoing and intolerable harm” (30). Marriage, according to Card, meets these criteria. Spouses – predominantly women – are exposed to intolerable harm, including death, through domestic violence. The emergence of such violence was foreseeable and it is tied to the institution of marriage that the threat of violence can only be mitigate by abolishing the institution. And, finally, there are people who have the power to do just that (31). Card refers the reader to her 2002 book The Atrocity paradigm: A Theory of Evil for more information. Since I don’t have the book, I will leverage her analogy to slavery to extricate some underlying assumptions to Card’s argument. Slavery, too, is an evil institution. Slaves are exposed to violence, which is foreseeable and causally linked to the existence of the institution. But what exactly constitutes the link? Surely with laws against such violence it should be preventable, thus the abolishment of the institution should not be a requirement to the end of violence within the institution. But, at least according to Card, laws do not prevent the violence. So there must be something inherent in the institution that overrides the law, at least in the minds of the violent perpetrators. I suggest that this something is a power imbalance: Slave owners have power over slaves. This power is inherent in the institution and cannot be legalized away except with the abolishment of slavery itself. Slavery without this power imbalance would be absurd.

If we apply this underlying assumption to marriage, it gets really interesting! If we assume that a power imbalance that enables the violence is created by the institution, there must be a power imbalance within marriage. Clearly there is: Men have (generally speaking) power over women. If we then take the next analogous step, we get to this conclusion: Marriage as an institution creates though the intimate access clause the power imbalance between men and women that leads, at least in some cases, to the violent abuse of women within marriage. That is, marriage is an essential component of patriarchy. I am not sure if I am putting words into Card’s mouth here but this seems to be her underlying claim. To me it raises at least one question: If we abolish marriage, would patriarchy also go away?

Creative Commons License Rachel's Musings is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. Suffusion WordPress theme by Sayontan Sinha