Somehow i remembered worry dolls and even though i have some, i felt that i wanted something more concrete. So, i decided to write out my worries and then burn the little pieces of paper. A helpful worry nudged me into doing that safely: Over a bowl of water.
And then i burned my worries, letting them drop into the bowl of water after the flames had eaten up the worry.
I soon realized that not everything burned – there was another worry!
I burned that one, too, and then noticed that it didn’t matter that i let the piece of paper drop into the water before the flames got too close: What didn’t burn dissolved in water!
I have no idea of this ritual will help me let go of these worries that are – unlike the worry that helped me make this ritual safe – not helpful to me. They get me stuck in the good-girl-habit, immobilized to take actions that would bring me closer to emotional freedom. I found it helpful, though, to articulate them. I learned a few things – for example, i hadn’t admitted to myself how much i am struggling with aging (that’s reflected in the worry about not being loved).
And maybe i can play a trick on my mind: Reminding myself that i burned these worries, which means i let them go! I suspect that, like everything else, this is a process and i’ll ritually let go of these worries again and again until they lessen their grip on my life. We’ll see!