Tough Love
The women in this boot camp are desperate and single, but can’t figure out why. The cast is composed of classic archetypes of the single woman: the ‘too much too soon’ romantic, the ‘gold digger’, the ‘fixing the wrong guys’ victim, the late 30’s ‘Lone Ranger’. To call the women out on their issues, Steven labels each woman with a moniker that correlates to her main problem. From “Miss Picky,” the woman who is too caught up in a list of impossible expectations, to “Miss Wedding-Obsessed,” the girl that tells guys on their first date she’s looking to be married within a year.
Of course! It’s the women’s fault that they’re single – if only they were to follow Steven Ward’s rules, they’d be happily married by now. Maybe he needs to read Dr. Karen Gail Lewis’ book and get a clue that women have a right not to settle. And we can be perfectly happy without a man, thank you very much.
The methods employed by Steven, with his “brutally honest approach to matchmaking,” are reminiscent of dog training: ” the ladies [get] zapped by an ankle bracelet when they bring up inappropriate topics on a date; or [they learn] how to pose in lingerie in an episode on sex.” Glancing through an interview with Ward, he is suggesting that dating is a game and being honest will prevent you from being in a relationship. He is perpetuating this game by training women to play into it (what happens after they land a guy, he doesn’t say – I guess the game has to continue indefinitely). Unlike Lewis who tells women that it’s okay to be single rather than playing to a man’s notion of what a woman should be like. Rather than degrading ourselves, we should demand that men grow up and be honest. Let’s add another “classic archetype of the single woman:” The happy spinster who proudly doesn’t settle!
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Exactly. Who’d want to date a barbie doll – perfect but not real…
Can I ask a question? I am a single guy coming out of a long-term relationship so I am just starting to date again. I totally don’t understand this show. I am guessing that the idea behind the ankle-braclet is to stop people from saying dumb things during a date? I would hope that my date would be interesting enough to occasionally be human and say something dumb – I know I do. If I was shocked every time I said something weird I would have been burned to death by now.
Anyway, I am just curious what ever happened to just sitting around and talking and learning about the other person’s life and having a fun night out or a few drinks? Maybe that makes for boring TV but the idea of trying to make a date like a job interview is just horrible.
What I hear a lot of the readers here (and in the other posts) saying is that having someone special in your life is great but only if it is the right fit and you don’t lose who you are in the process.
I don’t blame the TV company for making the show. I blame the dumb viewers for watching it. After all, they call it the boob tube for a reason. I find myself coming to the internet more and more to engage in discussion rather than watching dumb shows!
I live in Maryland in between Middletown and Baltimore where the two horrific murder/suicides occurred this month. The innocent victims of these crimes were wives and their children. Their HUSBANDS were their murders. So, there are far worse situations in life than just being single. Being married to a violent crazy man would be one of them.
I am married with children and it can be the most difficult and stressful thing I have every done. I think we should all pause and try to be aware of what actually helps us feel content. Maybe we might actually realize that what we need is not a man, but some peaceful time alone.
As far as television is concerned, it’s controllers are only worried about making money. They know that the ignorant mainstream will continue to watch and support the status quo while they are at it.
Seriously, this guy doesn’t deserve a more mature response than “bite me.”
Plus, what’s wrong with being picky? That’s just one of those double messages: On the one hand, you’re supposed to find someone to spend the rest of your life with. On the other, if you carefully evaluate potential life-long partners, you get labeled picky… I wonder if the idea is that women can never really be who we are if we want to get and stay married…
GAAAACK GAAAACK GAAAACK.
Oh, sorry, that was me reading about the ankle bracelents and then choking on my own vomit.
My friend P recently asked me if she was being too picky, ending things with a guy with whom she didn’t feel the chemistry (after several months). One of her other friends (v. conservative and also married with child) had told P that she was “too picky”. I told P NEVER to stop being picky and to trust her gut. I hope she listens to me and not her other friend. I am not always right, but this time I *am*.
Christina
Wow, this is CRAZY. I want/need to watch just to find out more… Thanks for the alert, Rachel. :)?
L
I wrote about this show too and find it super creepy. I found that most of the women on the show were just very unique and had their own lives going on. I wish they would just become Singlutionaries and realize that they are too awesome for just any man and that if they get happy with who they are and who they are doing they will inevitably bump into the right person. Steven is teaching them how to date correctly and stuff like manners are important but they have so much to offer beyond first impressions and acting like little ladies. Sigh. These women have PERSONALITIES and I feel like Steven is trying to train that out of them so that they’ll be likable by any man out there (as long as they don’t show who they really are).