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The Force of Marriage — 2 Comments

  1. I’ve just started reading Brief Encounters. One comment of the authors fits here perfectly: We, as a society, seem to think that long-term relationship = good and short-term relationship = bad. However, given our increasing mobility, reality is that most of our relationships are short-term! So, the authors suggest, it’s time to wake up to reality and value all relationships no matter how fleeting they might be because the way we experience a relationship is what matters, not how long it lasts.

    I think this thinking is also reflected in our overvaluation of marriage since we seem to think that marriage = long-term relationship and therefore it must be good! And of course, the opposite is also true: not marriage = short-term relationship = bad (in other words, if it’s not marriage, it must be short-term and therefore bad).

  2. “As long as marriage remains something other than a commitment – it is now a socially sanctioned institution heavily rewarded – getting married (or not) is not a choice.”

    This observation really blew me away! That is so true! What kind of “choice” do you really have when the alternative means endangering your well-being? Not much of one.

    With divorce rates as high as they are, the way marriage is revered is just silly. A couple is no more likely to stay together after marriage than before. Either way, they have a 50-50 chance of making it for the long haul. Yet people have the nerve to condescend to unmarried couples as though their relationships weren’t the real deal. It’s really ludicrous!

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