Underneath it all remains a frustration, though. The frustration that my choice isn’t taken serious. “She’ll grow out of it.” or “Once she finds herself, she’ll be coupled again.” I found myself, thank you very much, and that is why I am single. And the frustration that this is such an unusual choice that it requires a lot of explanation and in the end is still not understood. As Karen Gail Lewis puts it, I look forward to the days when whether we’re coupled is as important as the color of our nails.
I came out as a Single by Choice in my New Year’s letter to friends and family. Somewhat predictably, the feedback I received is the hope that I’ll find the Right One eventually. Choosing to be single is neither possible nor desirable. Not possible? Being coupled selects one other person and leaves gazillion other potential Right Ones out in the dust. If you’re happily coupled, how do you know that there isn’t a person out there who would make you even happier? Exactly, you don’t. But you stopped looking (at least most people do). Well, why can’t I leave gazillion plus one out in the dust? Sure there might be oodles of people who would make me even happier than I am now but why should I keep looking when I am happy now? I have a bad track-record in picking boy-friends. I have a good track-record in picking friends. I don’t have to build a statistical model to figure out how to optimize that equation… Instead of spending my time trying to find the Right One, I’d rather spend my time creating my life and making it as full and happy as I can.