Two things converge today: The Pride Parades and the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. As a newly released anthology chronicles, the Stonewall Riots sparked a radical movement for gay liberation. But as Tommi Avicolli Mecca pointed out in a recent interview, the movement quickly morphed into something that was acceptable by mainstream: Instead of fighting for liberation – something that would lay the seeds of a different society – assimilation was promoted. The LGBT movement was born, which now seems to be the same-sex marriage movement, a single issue platform with the goal of normalizing. Husband, wife, 2.5 kids, and white picket fence. Sure that husband and wife are of the same sex is different but that is the only difference. Otherwise the family is normal. As Michael Warner so eloquently decried, any attempts to move away from the dictates of “normal” – a dictate that makes everything else abnormal – have been given up. People who want to live differently are left out. Other ways of living are no longer honored, though some still dare to explore them. At least, that’s what the national scene looks like. Amazingly enough, there’s a pocket in Salt Lake City where “mainstream assimilationists collaborated with radical activists to develop talking points, coordinate strategy and change homophobic policy.” Something that honors the legacy of Stonewall but is also more effectively fighting for the rights of all people, not just those folks who want to get married. As Lisa Duggan points out, the Utah strategy that fights for anti-discrimination protection rather than same-sex marriage is brilliant.

The brilliance of the strategy is its ability to refocus public opinion, put conservative opponents on the defensive, shift public perception of the barriers to LGBT equality and broaden the scope of action to include the needs of people living in nonconjugal households, be they straight, gay or other. [my emphasis]

Furthermore, the broader struggle in Utah – required by a Super DOMA, which not only defines marriage as between one man and one woman but also restricts “marriage like” entities – has brought to the forefront

a simple but often overlooked fact: many basic rights and protections for LGBT citizens, including some on the CGI list [Common Ground Initiative, a platform that fights for a list of rights beyond marriage], are not guaranteed by marriage. Housing and employment discrimination, for example, could continue against married or cohabiting couples as well as single people. That point is very well taken in the current political climate, when marriage equality often stands in for all civil equality.

Getting around the Super DOMA forces activists to look at all relationships, not just marriage-like couples. The end result is that they are fighting for equality for all and really mean all, including the uncoupled.

This also has another beautiful side-effect:

Such proposals begin to make the diversity of households and interdependent relationships visible and highlight the limits of a marriage-focused gay rights agenda that prioritizes the needs of the conventionally coupled.

The work in Utah embraces the spirit of Stonewall and moves it ahead by fighting for all family constellations, including alternative ones. The critique of the exclusive focus on same-sex marriage seems to be getting louder (see also here and here and here). The time is ripe to build coalitions around marriage inequality and follow the Utah model to fight for rights for all people. It is time to call for full civil equality for all and really mean all!

Hat tip and big thank you to Nancy Polikoff for making me aware of Duggan’s great article!