Singlism in Prop 8 Attack
We said at the beginning that we would establish three things: that marriage is a fundamental right, and that depriving gays and lesbians the right to marry harm them and harm their children, and that depriving gays and lesbians the right to marry could not help heterosexual marriage at all.
Not being married harms us, a claim based on the false belief that marriage makes us happier, healthier, and wealthier. And children growing up within single parent families are harmed – actually, children are harmed in any family other than that headed by a married couple. Both of these claims are false and singlist perpetuating stereotypes against singles. I find it frustrating that the attorneys could not find arguments for same-sex marriage that do not require put downs of singles, including the conjuring up of incorrect “evidence.” If they had not been driven by matrimania, they could have utilized the strongest argument for marriage equality: Not providing protection in case of divorce is unjust. But that would require admitting to the reality that marriages do not last forever, which contradicts the matrimanic assumption that marriage leads to infinite bliss.
Update: Here is a great post by Bella DePaulo making similar points in much more detail.
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Boies said not being married “harms” us; did he mean that being married is better than being single, *or* did he mean that not having access to the privileges that come with marriage harms us? The former is obviously not true, but the latter is actually true. I hope he meant the latter! But chances are he meant the former also. What I find interesting is that in Isms like racism and sexism, it’s mostly the conservative right (or conservative/religious “wrong” as you put it–love it!) who make ill-thought, offensive statements against minorities. But with (stealth) singlism, both the right and the left are almost equally guilty.
Christina
We have a ton of consciousness raising to do! Maybe your comments made a dent – maybe someone who read them, started to think… Of course, maybe not, but if we keep raising the issue, some people might start getting the point. So, thanks for commenting at Box Turtle Bulletin – and for sharing your experience here!
As I’ve said before, I’m not surprised.
The anti Prop 8 arguments featured singlism prominently. When I pointed this out on the prominent gay site Box Turtle Bulletin, most of the responses were negative.
Some quoted actuarial tables to prove that single men were risk takers (no mention of single women or unmarried couples). When I responded with Bella DePaulo’s research, one person asked how one person could stand against “actuarial science”
Most disappointing was the response from editor Tim Kincaid, who stated that “the testimony is clear” that marriage is good for you. Didn’t respond when I posted more evidence to the contrary from DePaulo’s book.
Only one commenter responded positively.
Haven’t really followed the Prop 8 issue since.