On Being Single as a Social Being — 3 Comments

  1. A few thoughts:
    I think we’re all going to feel loneliness at one time or another, even if we feel like we belong to a community. I feel like I belong to several great communities, but it doesn’t mean I don’t ever feel lonely.
    Also, I do think it’s interesting to think about the nourishment of morning breakfast. I rarely do this, but I have fond memories of Sunday brunches with friends. Maybe that is a benefit of marriage that we’ll rarely feel. And yes, as with everything else, it will be up to us to try and make those nourishing moments happen as often as we can.

  2. I think the sense of wanting to matter is a common reason that people push themselves into relationships like round pegs in square holes.

    Random thought though: Are you still jetlagged? It can last for weeks, subtly, and may affect your mood and personality.

    • Hmm. I wonder why you think i am still jetlagged… Because i realize that i am a social being? Because i felt pain? It saddens me that we’re so scared of feeling pain that we have to find another explanation other than admitting that being lonely sucks. Also, i am hoping that it was clear that i am not advocating that we relief this loneliness by the normative push to couple. I want to acknowledge that we’re social beings, enjoy being with others, and find ways of doing that outside of the couple-paradigm. It’s not either being single or being coupled – there are variations, flavors, things in between, and beyond.

      Incidentally, one reason why i enjoyed Eric Klinenberg’s book is because he, too, calls for stepping out of the single-couple dichotomy and develop social networks.

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