On Being Broken
So what if I am broken!
It wasn’t exactly my choice, ya know!
It’s not like the guy came with a warning label
“Warning! The love of this man might be toxic!”
Or something like that
“Up close and personal, this man might hurt.”
I carry the scars, sure.
And I am done with being ashamed of them!
It wasn’t exactly my choice, ya know!
It’s not like the guy came with a warning label
“Warning! The love of this man might be toxic!”
Or something like that
“Up close and personal, this man might hurt.”
I carry the scars, sure.
And I am done with being ashamed of them!
It was not my fault that he hurt me.
I married him, sure.
I chose love; I got pain.
As if life made a mistake.
Except, there’s no return address.
No doing over.
The scars are for life.
They hurt.
They make me scream and shout.
They make me mad.
They make me cry.
It is not my fault that my body learned.
“It is not safe.”
“No man is safe! Run away!”
The only safe way seemed to be to stay away.
From love.
To avoid the pain.
No more, I say!
I take the love
and heal the pain!
I have started practicing trauma-sensitive yoga and stuff is bubbling up, so I can mourn it to accept it. I can highly recommend TSY, just make sure that you have support for healing the things that bubble up.
I too am broken. 20 years of marriage to a covert narcissist has left be broken. Despite knowing this I struggle to stay married to this toxic man. Because for all the horrible parts of him there are just as many that are good. He was stupid to have an affair when all he really needed was to put that much effort into our marriage. Through all of this discovery I have learned that he is broken as well and I most likely was somewhat broken when we met. It’s true that his “love” finished me off and I struggle to know which way to turn. I guess I say struggle, when I acknowledge changes must be made and the ones I “should” be making I can’t seem to embrace (get divorced, let go & move on).But in reality aren’t we all broken. Is it his (or mine) fault that neither were able to learn from example (parents) how to be? It is (sadly) what we leave are children with. Yes I am broken but what else to do but just dealwith it th3 best we can.