We all have a deep seated need for belonging: we want to be a part of something larger than ourselves. One option our society gives us is marriage. And in recent years, with the glorification of marriage, it has morphed into a panacea for all of our troubles. Marriage is supposed to meet all our needs for belonging and community. Of course, what nobody seems to acknowledge is that one person cannot possibly meet these needs. Yet, culturally, we seem to be trained to expect that we’ll find The One who will solve all our problems and meet all our needs, especially the need for belonging. I wonder how much disappointment is generated through this unmeetable expectation. It might even be part of the increase in divorce.
Of course, as singles, we already know – somewhere if not explicitly – that our needs for belonging are better met through a variety of channels: friends, family, neighbors, and organizations to name a few.