I started my transition in earnest in fall of 2009 by returning to school. I had enrolled in a masters program in philosophy. Choosing philosophy was more an accident than anything else – it was one of the few departments still accepting applications when i decided that it was time to shake up my life in April of 2009. Despite of that, i had somehow gotten sucked into the idea that i went to school to get a masters in philosophy! And so when i realized that being in the program was no longer helping me grow and learn (and transition), all the messages started coming up from “you should finish what you started” to “i am a failure if i don’t get the degree.” It took me several weeks of (sometimes) rather intense self-work to get to the point of accepting that i am simply done with the program before the school says i am supposed to be done. I didn’t take all the classes yet. I didn’t write my thesis yet. But i am done. I don’t need the paper to prove it. I know it. Yet, just admitting that is very scary. And it’s even scarier to think about telling the graduate advisor this. I am so grateful for all the support from my friends with this, which makes it a tad less scary! So, now i am facing another transition point: Letting go of the crutch! Because that’s what it really was: Being in school was a crutch that allowed me to quit my job and start the transition. Telling people “i am a student” felt safer than telling them “i am designing my life.” I am ready to become a spinster: A woman who is spinning her life path! (Okay, and i need to remember to breathe 😉 ).
One reason i set up this blog is to share my adventures in transitioning from a life in corporate America to one that is full of meaning and sustainable for myself and the planet. I am learning that there are many more ways to stretch than by doing yoga postures! My current stretch is to live fully authentic, which means that i am developing the courage to let go of things in my life that do not add meaning. Even if that means that i break the should-rules. Even if that means that i have to peel off yet another layer of cultural conditioning.