Two recent blog posts are coming together in my mind to form the idea of micro-singlism, the seemingly innocent forms of discrimination against singles that are all around us. Those messages that tell us we’re less than when we don’t have a lover can make it challenging to stay out of the shame trap.

The first article was a comic on micro-aggression, which demonstrates how they make us feel smaller and smaller. Then I read a post about Virginia’s state slogan “Virginia is for Lovers,” which pointed out that this is a subtle form of harassment.

There is a Lovers’ Lane in San Francisco’s Presidio. It’s in one of the most gorgeous areas of the Presidio, very romantically lined with lights (unlike most of the other trails). Clearly, this lane has been designed with couplemanic intentions: It’s supposed to attract lovers who promenade along the lane showing off their love.

I’ve always felt weird going down that lane – and now I know why: Its name and its design suggest to me that I don’t belong there for I don’t bring a lover. This then taps into my subconscious store of all the other singlist messages: There is something wrong with me for not having a lover and therefore I shouldn’t be on Lovers’ Lane. Just like Virginia’s state motto, the name of this lane reinforces singlism.

Following, Craig’s idea, how about renaming the lane: Presidio Lovers’ Lane! That would remove the couplemania. It would also be more appropriate as the lane is for those of us who love walking in the Presidio!

---

---

Share this post with others: