Trying to get insurance-covered counseling shattered any remnants I was holding onto about Germany. It’s a culture/society just as anti-social as the US by neoliberal capitalism, if not more so. Apparently, seeking counseling here is a horrible stigma and you have to be sick enough to get it, that is, you have to have a full-blown mental illness.

For prevention you have to pay yourself. Some of the things the counselor said were jaw dropping (if I’ll get counseling to help me through this crisis, I’ll feel weaker but if I’ll muddle through on my own, I’ll be proud and garbage like that). If a doctor dared to tell something like this to a person with, say, cancer (“your body will fight it off! you’d lose confidence in your body’s healing ability if I’d operate!”), people would be up in arms. No wonder I get a lot of that “chin up” sentiment here…

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