One of the things that I realized when reflecting on spraining my ankle: I am having trouble taking my space, taking what is mine (I think in part I sprained my ankle because I tried to exit the bus quickly as to not inconvenience people and I did it through the back door as to not interrupt the bus driver’s and his friend’s conversation – talk about paying for not taking care of myself!). It’s time to support myself in my authenticity! I’ll figure out along the way all that this means but certainly earning a living doing something I love will be an essential part of it.
Through the permaculture course I recently took, I got the idea of offering people to guide them through their own life design. Sharing, if you want, what I am learning while doing it plus the tools I’ve acquired along the way. It is interesting how much comes up in the process of venturing toward creating my own business. It seems like all my insecurities are surfacing. Can I really do this? Do I really have something to share that others will pay money for? Personally, I find that the credibility of a person I work with increases when I realize that they have been there done that. Someone who has been in a mind-twisting relationship with a narcissist just understands better what it’s like than someone who has simply studied it. There is also power in seeing someone further down the path you are venturing on. And transitioning roll models are so rare! But then could I really be a role model? Gulp. I can’t possibly be one! I don’t have the _____ – whatever my stopper du jour is: Credentials, experience, assertiveness, etc. Yet, I see lots of people who seem to be doing rather well sharing what they’ve learned, so I am taking a new plunge and see what happens. I am setting up a business, planting the seeds for – hopefully – work that will sustain me both financially and ethically. I love to share what I’ve learned, so I am taking that love and building on it.