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I am a failure! — 4 Comments

  1. Again, thanks for your sharing. My nickname for my own internal “I’m a failure” monologue is “the accomplishment thing.” If I haven’t accomplished certain things — gotten my book published; made some kind of name for myself doing the things I find meaningful, etc — then I’m a “failure.” When I catch myself doing this, sometimes I have the wisdom to say to myself, “oh, you’re doing the accomplishment thing again.” I find that because of the accomplishment thing, at times I have even dismissed and devalued the best work I’ve done to make a positive difference for others, entirely because the degree of social recognition connected to my actions fell beneath some imagined threshold that would represent finally “counting for something” in this world. I know this is self-defeating and based on a distorted view of reality, and yet I seem to repeat this particular flavor of suffering. Your sharing is a welcome bit of inspiration to keep making the effort to change this pattern. (BTW – your TED talk is probably my Terry Gross interview.)

    • Thanks, Maurice, for sharing! I have this accomplishment thing, too. I have noticed – when i pay attention – that it’s pure fiction. When i go to bed thinking “i haven’t accomplished anything” (or my simpler version “i haven’t done anything”), i sometimes review what i actually did during the day. To my amazement, i accomplished things! Sure, i didn’t get invited to a TED talk or for an inteview with Terry Gross but figuring out how to get WordPress to do something the way i want it is not a small task either! Or just giving a hug to someone who really needed one. I think you’re right: By focusing so much on The Big Accomplishment, we miss all the little things we are doing and don’t give ourselves credit for it…

        • Given the hours i’ve spent trying to figure out to do some things in WP, i’d agree! Congratulations, Maurice! (Though i doubt that Terry will invite you based on this but who knows…)

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