Almost everybody by now knows that forgiveness is a good thing. If you carry around anger, you’re only hurting yourself, not the person you’re angry at, no matter how much you plot revenge. Plus, revenge is not sweet. It’s immature. So, when I realized that I was carrying around a big sack full of grudges against my ex-boyfriend, I decided I needed to forgive him. I just didn’t know how! An Internet search simply reaffirmed how important forgiveness is but there were no exercises that sounded that they would actually work. I decided to just start making a list of the things I needed to forgive. And an amazing thing happened! With every “I need to forgive him for…” that I wrote down, it felt like I moved closer to forgiveness! Just writing down the grudges – as silly as they seemed – helped me to let go. And, yes, I also started a list for myself because there were a few things that I needed to forgive myself for, too. I am not sure how lasting this will be but it feels like a good start!
Try it yourself:
- Make a list of the things that you feel you need to forgive someone for. Don’t be shy! Write it all down, yes, everything, even the little things – they are still weighing you down.
- Start each sentence with “I need to forgive <someone> for…” and as you fill in the blank, breathe the thought away and let go.
- Keep paper and pen handy as you go around and jot more things down that you need to forgive this person for.
- When you feel the list is done, put it away and move on!
- Celebrate your freedom!