Diversify! — 3 Comments

  1. Rachel – you mention that diversity is important for a marriage.

    Well ….. I’ve read the statistics that show that there are a LOT of couples that divorce after about 20 or 30 years of marriage because they realise that now they have nothing in common anymore.

    They might have been together for the kids or while they worked .

    Sure, it’s good to have your own hobbies, but I’ve read – and actually seen it in action – that couples that have a hobby or interest together are happiest. They don’t need to be “chained together” ….. they just need to have something fun to do together in their spare time ….. something to talk about every day , something to look forward to ,…….


  2. I agree with the diversity model. It’s something I began exploring a few years ago — I wondered why there is such a greater level of acceptance extended to friends than to intimates (lovers, partners, companions, etc.)? I discovered many things along this pathway of discovery and it can be summed up in the notion of diversity. When we meet someone with whom we wish to connect, the tendency (or better said, the social/cultural norm) is to focus all our attention and engage in all our activities with that one person. The only thing is this … when we meet the proverbial one we are, for the most part, engaged in many other activities with a variety of people and it is that energy that we bring that is part of our attractiveness to the other. When we shift into a mode of exclusion, it’s almost as if we are no longer the person the other met and was attracted to–a friend describes it as dimming our light. The burden of expectations that can be placed on any relationship to be the source of all that we experienced from the variety and diversity of friendships, relationships, activities is quite a heavy one and can figuratively squash the life out of relationships. Like your parents I believe that diversity is a key element to life and since relationships are part of life, diversity is one of the keys to healthy and enduring relationships–whether one is coupled or single!

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