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Celibacy — 4 Comments

  1. Pingback:Rachel’s Musings » Finding a Home for my Work

  2. I don’t find celibacy hard. It wasn’t a conscious choice, it just sort of happened, and I am happy with it, for a variety of reasons. Eg, there are so many couples I know where sex problems are such a big issue.
    I am glad I don’t have to deal with that. Also, if I fantasise and romanticise about sex, and think I want it, I also remember that a lot of the sex I’ve had in my life has been pretty average. I can live without ho- hum sex.

    Also, those times when I have wanted to go on the hunt for sex, usually around ovulation, I think sometimes that’s a longing for closeness, romance, or to feel desired. Straight out sex with a stranger or even a fuck buddy does not appeal to me. But, then I’ve come to the conclusion that a relationship does not appeal to me, so celibacy is what I am left with.

    I have not heard of the books you mentioned, but I have read that advice, like get hugs massages, express your self through dance. I don’t buy that necessarily. However, when you mention nice sheets and the like, I realise that I am naturally big on sensual experiences. I treat myself without even thinking about it every evening, whether it be a glass of champagne, quality chocolate, scented candles and much more. As this is natural and daily for me, maybe that is why I don’t find celibacy difficult.

    By the way, I have been hypothyroid for years and doing ok, finally. There are some good resources out there on hypothyroidism – I hope you’ve found them.

  3. Thanks for your comment, Alan! I do think that marriage has a lot to do with controlling sexuality – both women’s and men’s. It is heteronormativity in action, preventing any other ways of relating to people. After all, there are many ways of expressing sexuality but only one (!) socially sanctioned way. Rather sad, actually.

  4. Interesting topic. Kind of relates to what I had been thinking about lately. Churches typically ask members to only have sex within marriage, while asking those not married to remain celibate. When you think about it, this places a pretty big burden on those who aren’t married, and gives a pretty big advantage to those who are. I don’t think it’s intentionally designed to promote matrimania…I suspect it has more to do with controlling sexuality…but in the end that’s the effect.

    Though how much of a burden depends upon the person. Different people have different levels of sexual desire, and different needs in that area.

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