Watering things down

Having the time to reflect on what i want to contribute to the world while visiting my parents, i realized that i had been caught up in the watering things down trap. I am passionate about singles empowerment. And i offend some folks with that. Afraid of doing that – wanting to be liked by everybody (sigh, the same old story), i started to water down my message, including changing the name of my singles empowerment workshop to relationship empowerment workshop. I would reach a larger audience. And i lost interest. The other thing i tried to do was to find other places where a similar process was happening. Singles empowerment helps us step out of the cultural couplemanic paradigm. It teaches us the confidence to define relationships the way we want them to be, not the way culture dictates. So, it supports us in transitioning from a culture that is stifling to one that helps us thrive. That idea – and the tools i teach to implement it – can also be helpful in other areas, for example, when we go from a culture that is dominated by consumption to one that emphasizes community and interdependence. Or when we try to work cooperatively in our culture that is mostly based on domination. I thought about expanding my offerings to include those transitions (see April 10th here). Somehow i never quite got around to that.

Then on my flight back, i read a new book: “Liebe wird oft überbewertet” (“love is often overvalued”) by Christiane Rösinger (a little more about the book in German). It rekindled my passion! Especially as i got a kick out of Rösinger’s word for couplemania: “Pärchendiktatur” – dictatorship of the couple! I left my job in corporate America because i had stepped out of integrity – way out: My values were not at all in line with the company i was working for. I was doing it again. I am a singles activist. I critique marriage. Some people won’t like that but this is what i value, what i believe in. I will not transition to a new way of living only to sell myself short again in what i offer.

Of course, this might mean that i won’t be able to fully sustain myself offering singles empowerment workshops (read: i won’t be able to make enough money). So, i might compromise in other ways – like finding a job to enable me to be in full integrity with my contributions to the world. We’ll see. I am sure i’ll share more on this… I can already feel some anxiety welling up in me again, including about posting this…






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Watering things down — 2 Comments

  1. Pingback: Couplemania for Polyglots « Onely: Single and Happy

  2. “Pärchendiktatur” I love it!!!! (I speak German, so it resonates with me.) Let’s work to collect this term in many different languages! I know I can get it in Chinese because I have the Chinese copy of Bella’s book (oh yeah, believe it!). This is exciting!

    Um, though I guess that’s where I run out of examples. = )
    CC

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