Comments on: Rape, Trauma, and the Rewiring of the Brain http://www.rabe.org/rape-trauma-and-the-rewiring-of-the-brain/ Sharing ideas and provocations on living single while happy. Reflecting on the social psychology of stereotypes and other cultural phenomena. Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:46:33 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Maria http://www.rabe.org/rape-trauma-and-the-rewiring-of-the-brain/comment-page-1/#comment-7882 Maria Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:46:33 +0000 http://www.rabe.org/rape-trauma-and-the-rewiring-of-the-brain/#comment-7882 Thank you for this article. For years, I've been trying to heal from rapes that happened nearly 20 years ago. Now I understand that no matter how much I progress and heal and love myself, I'll still have that in my wiring to some degree...knowing this takes away the power of past, no matter what. Thank you! Thank you for this article. For years, I’ve been trying to heal from rapes that happened nearly 20 years ago. Now I understand that no matter how much I progress and heal and love myself, I’ll still have that in my wiring to some degree…knowing this takes away the power of past, no matter what. Thank you!

]]> By: Jennifer http://www.rabe.org/rape-trauma-and-the-rewiring-of-the-brain/comment-page-1/#comment-4626 Jennifer Tue, 12 Oct 2010 22:41:15 +0000 http://www.rabe.org/rape-trauma-and-the-rewiring-of-the-brain/#comment-4626 No types of abuse are good therefore one should not let what others have done control life. There are good people in the would just as there are bad ones. Ones that are respectful and gain a need through proper conduct and others who have trouble executing a need properly. The best way to move on from the situation is to lead by example through ones own actions. Not one life or soul is untarnished. Every individual goes through experiences. Both men and women go through struggles in which he or she may feel degraded by another person or not feel strong enough in a situation. The goal after the event is to realize that empowerment heals and progresses one forward passed an event or event(s). When refelecting the past it feels good in the brain to know "its not your fault." One can take negative energy and turn ones life around. In the end a person has the power to be a better person and has room to grow intrinsically. The one that stands up and moves forward gains more in life in comparison to the person who has trouble executing their needs. "Be the change you want to see in the world" (Ghandi). No types of abuse are good therefore one should not let what others have done control life. There are good people in the would just as there are bad ones. Ones that are respectful and gain a need through proper conduct and others who have trouble executing a need properly. The best way to move on from the situation is to lead by example through ones own actions. Not one life or soul is untarnished. Every individual goes through experiences. Both men and women go through struggles in which he or she may feel degraded by another person or not feel strong enough in a situation. The goal after the event is to realize that empowerment heals and progresses one forward passed an event or event(s). When refelecting the past it feels good in the brain to know “its not your fault.” One can take negative energy and turn ones life around. In the end a person has the power to be a better person and has room to grow intrinsically. The one that stands up and moves forward gains more in life in comparison to the person who has trouble executing their needs. “Be the change you want to see in the world” (Ghandi).

]]> By: Rachel http://www.rabe.org/rape-trauma-and-the-rewiring-of-the-brain/comment-page-1/#comment-4505 Rachel Tue, 07 Sep 2010 17:28:27 +0000 http://www.rabe.org/rape-trauma-and-the-rewiring-of-the-brain/#comment-4505 Yupp, been there, felt that, too. One of the most healing things for me was when I shared my story and others nodded knowingly. It is sad but it is also helpful to know how many others there are who have been through what we are going through. At some point, I switched from feeling like a victim to feeling strong again. I don't know exactly how the switch happened but it was probably 10 years after my rape and after I left my husband who had emotionally and sexually abused me. It was so freeing! It is hard to find a balance between realizing that you have been deeply victimized and taking your power back by not feeling "like a victim." Yupp, been there, felt that, too. One of the most healing things for me was when I shared my story and others nodded knowingly. It is sad but it is also helpful to know how many others there are who have been through what we are going through.

At some point, I switched from feeling like a victim to feeling strong again. I don’t know exactly how the switch happened but it was probably 10 years after my rape and after I left my husband who had emotionally and sexually abused me. It was so freeing! It is hard to find a balance between realizing that you have been deeply victimized and taking your power back by not feeling “like a victim.”

]]> By: Rachel http://www.rabe.org/rape-trauma-and-the-rewiring-of-the-brain/comment-page-1/#comment-4504 Rachel Tue, 07 Sep 2010 16:57:45 +0000 http://www.rabe.org/rape-trauma-and-the-rewiring-of-the-brain/#comment-4504 There is no silver lining to your experience. That is a lie perpetuated by those who benefit from keeping the system as it is. Sorry, reading your story just makes me mad: It sounds like he got away with raping you because he knew the right things to say and had the right standing in "the community." Yuck! That is such an example of why rape is not an individual attack but rather how patriarchy is enforced. A silver lining would have been there had you received the support in getting this guy behind bars! Okay, I am not sure if this is helpful but your imagery with the rug gave me a few ideas that might turn this image into something that might help you heal. Play with the image (if it feels right, that is). Can you do other things with the rug? It's there in your house but you could: take it out into the backyard and hang it over those bars and then hit it with something to get the dust out; if it feels right, you could use it to wrap yourself into it, redefining it as your protective coat; you could roll it up and stand it in the corner; you could sit on it and create a healing ceremony; you could have your dog poop on it; you could dance on it, taking your life back. There is no silver lining to your experience. That is a lie perpetuated by those who benefit from keeping the system as it is. Sorry, reading your story just makes me mad: It sounds like he got away with raping you because he knew the right things to say and had the right standing in “the community.” Yuck! That is such an example of why rape is not an individual attack but rather how patriarchy is enforced. A silver lining would have been there had you received the support in getting this guy behind bars!

Okay, I am not sure if this is helpful but your imagery with the rug gave me a few ideas that might turn this image into something that might help you heal. Play with the image (if it feels right, that is). Can you do other things with the rug? It’s there in your house but you could: take it out into the backyard and hang it over those bars and then hit it with something to get the dust out; if it feels right, you could use it to wrap yourself into it, redefining it as your protective coat; you could roll it up and stand it in the corner; you could sit on it and create a healing ceremony; you could have your dog poop on it; you could dance on it, taking your life back.

]]> By: gurl http://www.rabe.org/rape-trauma-and-the-rewiring-of-the-brain/comment-page-1/#comment-4503 gurl Tue, 07 Sep 2010 16:49:37 +0000 http://www.rabe.org/rape-trauma-and-the-rewiring-of-the-brain/#comment-4503 OMG, thank you for sharing.. I have also had the problem of being sent into panic attack just by seeing the same car he drove. It helps to know that I'm not the only one. You are so right..the scar is there...but I don't want it to be visible. I don't want to a damaged person. I want to recover. I want to be stronger. OMG, thank you for sharing.. I have also had the problem of being sent into panic attack just by seeing the same car he drove. It helps to know that I’m not the only one.

You are so right..the scar is there…but I don’t want it to be visible. I don’t want to a damaged person. I want to recover. I want to be stronger.

]]> By: Rachel http://www.rabe.org/rape-trauma-and-the-rewiring-of-the-brain/comment-page-1/#comment-4502 Rachel Tue, 07 Sep 2010 16:47:18 +0000 http://www.rabe.org/rape-trauma-and-the-rewiring-of-the-brain/#comment-4502 Gurl, I am not quite sure what to write back since you are in a lot of pain and I doubt that a blog is a good forum for support. The only thing I can think of is that it does get easier with time. Five years might seem like a long time but it really isn't (think of how long it takes for a physical injury to heal!). No, there was no reason for this to happen to you. But, unfortunately, it did happen. It is horrible that it did! And unlike a cancer, you can't cut it out, you can't put these thoughts in a box and hide the box somewhere. The best you can do is accept - accept that these thoughts intrude on you and that sometimes, no matter what you do, they overwhelm you. That doesn't mean that you are weak. That doesn't mean you are doing something wrong. You have been deeply, deeply wounded. But even if it doesn't feel like this now, it will get better! You will heal, in part because you are willing to experience the emotions rather than stuff them away. And, also, remember: You are not alone! Gurl, I am not quite sure what to write back since you are in a lot of pain and I doubt that a blog is a good forum for support. The only thing I can think of is that it does get easier with time. Five years might seem like a long time but it really isn’t (think of how long it takes for a physical injury to heal!). No, there was no reason for this to happen to you. But, unfortunately, it did happen. It is horrible that it did! And unlike a cancer, you can’t cut it out, you can’t put these thoughts in a box and hide the box somewhere. The best you can do is accept – accept that these thoughts intrude on you and that sometimes, no matter what you do, they overwhelm you. That doesn’t mean that you are weak. That doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong. You have been deeply, deeply wounded. But even if it doesn’t feel like this now, it will get better! You will heal, in part because you are willing to experience the emotions rather than stuff them away. And, also, remember: You are not alone!

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