Comments on: Is it time to ditch marriage? http://www.rabe.org/ditching-marriage/ My blogging and writing sandbox... Sun, 23 Nov 2008 14:02:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Rachel’s Musings » Californias Vote No on Prop 8! http://www.rabe.org/ditching-marriage/#comment-1527 Rachel’s Musings » Californias Vote No on Prop 8! Sun, 26 Oct 2008 04:54:36 +0000 http://www.rabe.org/ditching-marriage/#comment-1527 [...] would ask people to vote No on Prop 8 if they live in California. After all, I don’t exactly support marriage. And I think that fighting for marriage equality is the wrong approach. Yet, it is very important [...] [...] would ask people to vote No on Prop 8 if they live in California. After all, I don’t exactly support marriage. And I think that fighting for marriage equality is the wrong approach. Yet, it is very important [...]

]]> By: Rachel’s Musings » Alternatives to Marriage http://www.rabe.org/ditching-marriage/#comment-437 Rachel’s Musings » Alternatives to Marriage Fri, 16 May 2008 17:49:56 +0000 http://www.rabe.org/ditching-marriage/#comment-437 [...] about the California Supreme Court’s decision to override a ban on same-sex marriage, I continue to be leery about the preferential treatment bestowed upon people simply because they “tie the [...] [...] about the California Supreme Court’s decision to override a ban on same-sex marriage, I continue to be leery about the preferential treatment bestowed upon people simply because they “tie the [...]

]]> By: H http://www.rabe.org/ditching-marriage/#comment-423 H Fri, 02 May 2008 21:22:26 +0000 http://www.rabe.org/ditching-marriage/#comment-423 I completely agree with the theory that true happiness will come more from connections with your family, friends and community than it will from that one on one romantic relationship whether it be with a boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. I operated for many years on the belief that I needed to be in a “relationship” for true happiness. I only had 1 or 2 close friends but I did not make any effort to forge new friendships or build on the ones I had. I put no effort into my friendships. I did not connect on any level with others. It was me and my husband all the way to the end……or the divorce court. Although it went against my natural personality which is more shy, I made a point to get out there and meet people . When I felt any kind of connection with someone who seemed they would make a potentially good friend (similar hobbies/interests) then I did things to encourage the growth of that friendship. As a result of this, I have made many, many friends and now I have so many friends that whatever I need I always have someone to call. Not only that, I make an effort to be there for them as well. These connections give me whatever security I feel I need when tough times come. Instead of only having one person to go to…I now have many people. The best part is that I don’t have to worry about us breaking up!! I completely agree with the theory that true happiness will come more from connections with your family, friends and community than it will from that one on one romantic relationship whether it be with a boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. I operated for many years on the belief that I needed to be in a “relationship” for true happiness. I only had 1 or 2 close friends but I did not make any effort to forge new friendships or build on the ones I had. I put no effort into my friendships. I did not connect on any level with others. It was me and my husband all the way to the end……or the divorce court.

Although it went against my natural personality which is more shy, I made a point to get out there and meet people . When I felt any kind of connection with someone who seemed they would make a potentially good friend (similar hobbies/interests) then I did things to encourage the growth of that friendship. As a result of this, I have made many, many friends and now I have so many friends that whatever I need I always have someone to call. Not only that, I make an effort to be there for them as well. These connections give me whatever security I feel I need when tough times come. Instead of only having one person to go to…I now have many people. The best part is that I don’t have to worry about us breaking up!!

]]> By: Rachel’s Musings » Internalized Singlism http://www.rabe.org/ditching-marriage/#comment-379 Rachel’s Musings » Internalized Singlism Tue, 22 Apr 2008 18:56:28 +0000 http://www.rabe.org/ditching-marriage/#comment-379 [...] marriage changed again. Or did it? Marriage remains the institution that is most coveted and least questioned. It remains a rite of passage to adulthood. And we remain stuck with the idea that we are somehow [...] [...] marriage changed again. Or did it? Marriage remains the institution that is most coveted and least questioned. It remains a rite of passage to adulthood. And we remain stuck with the idea that we are somehow [...]

]]> By: Carl http://www.rabe.org/ditching-marriage/#comment-424 Carl Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:24:26 +0000 http://www.rabe.org/ditching-marriage/#comment-424 I just finished writing a book, <a href="http://www.whynevermarried.com/" rel="nofollow">So Why Have You Never Been Married</a> (New Horizon Press due out May 1, 2008), in which I surveyed 1533 never married men over 40. Most of them have adopted the following belief: If they find the right one, they'll marry, and if not, they'd rather be single. In essence the who is more important than the what. That's what's happening to singles, slowly but surely, and there aint a damn thing the cultural trances can do about it. Good post! I just finished writing a book, So Why Have You Never Been Married (New Horizon Press due out May 1, 2008), in which I surveyed 1533 never married men over 40. Most of them have adopted the following belief: If they find the right one, they’ll marry, and if not, they’d rather be single. In essence the who is more important than the what. That’s what’s happening to singles, slowly but surely, and there aint a damn thing the cultural trances can do about it. Good post!

]]>