[This post is co-authored by Bella DePaulo and Rachel Buddeberg.] Same-sex marriage is advocated as a basic human right. We applaud any expansion of human rights. Yet, as we’ve watched the debate over this issue unfold over the years, we have had some misgivings about the current approach: It seems too piecemeal. First some couples get admissions tickets to the legal benefits and protections of marriage, then the gates are opened to other kinds of couples. But why should a person have to be part of any kind of couple in order to qualify? One of us (Bella DePaulo) found … Continue reading »
Today, I received a fact sheet from the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, an organization I support and respect. The fact sheet is called “More Men to Benefit from Expanded Coverage Under Healthcare Reform.” Because of my training and experience in data analysis, the first thing I looked at was Table 1. And I was puzzled. There didn’t seem to be a big difference between men and women. The big difference that jumped out at me was between married and single people of either gender. The table contains raw numbers (use the link to the PDF above to see it). … Continue reading »
Aug 162010
Listening to Picturing a Meltdown, an interview with two of the authors of a comic-style book explaining what led to our economic crisis, I realized that in addition to marriage as the foundation of society, there is another myth that claims to be oh, so important to our freedom: Home ownership. It has a lot of similarities and it is tied very strongly to marriage and the nuclear family. Just like marriage, home ownership is seen as a status symbol: I own a home, therefore I am an adult. It is the next step in our becoming adults, right after … Continue reading »
Despite the matrimania reflected in the fight for marriage equality, I celebrated the ruling against prop 8. I think everybody should have the right to refuse to get married – and we only have that right if we can legally marry. Plus, I don’t like it when religious groups impose their morality on the rest of us, which is what Prop 8 does. But I was struck by the singlism in the comments by David Boies, one of the attorneys arguing against Prop 8, on the Rachel Maddow show (You can also watch the video of the interview here.): We … Continue reading »
Now you can meddle in your single friends’ lives and earn money for doing so! Check out MatchCrew! Take a look at that website and notice how they are redefining meeting people (the only person you’re really interested in meeting is The One) and relationships (well, we know that one already: It’s only seepy relationship that counts). Do you enjoy helping your friends meet new people? We believe the desire to find the right partner in life is at the core of every person’s happiness, and it is a noble cause to help others to try and achieve that dream. … Continue reading »
Jul 302010
The permaculture principle 10, as listed by David Holmgren, states “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” It might be the most applicable one to our relationships as well as our economies. It calls for diversity. How about a diversity of friends! If we focus all of our energy on one person and put all of our relational eggs in one basket, we might end up feeling rather lonely. Many of us who have been in seepy relationships know how alone one can be in those… It pays to have lots of relationships, intimate and otherwise. Close friends can … Continue reading »
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