I was asked to review Eric Klinenberg’s new book Going Solo. A sucker for free books, i agreed not realizing that i might end up reading a book in less time than i would enjoy. Fortunately, the book isn’t one of those back-handed singlist books, so cramming wasn’t too painful. Aside from its groundedness in research that Bella DePaulo already noted, what i most enjoyed about the book is that Eric isn’t afraid to look at the dark side of being single – or being a singleton, as Eric calls those of us who are single and live alone. The … Continue reading »
In the second and third volume of his History of Sexuality trilogy, French philosopher Michel Foucault documents a change in the way marriage factored into (men’s) personal growth: From a minor role in the training for self-governance to the primary focus of self-care. In Ancient Greece, marriage was seen as a way to learn to govern ourselves so that we can govern others, though the boy-man friendship was more central in this training for self-mastery. Foucault also shows that the Greeks moved from the debate over whether to marry to making marriage a duty (154-5). Foucault traces the change of … Continue reading »
There have been quite a few posts on singles blogs recently about sex, in particular on how to deal with sexual energy when there’s no obvious outlet like an intimate partner (for example, the Onely post and Bella DePaulo’s writing). It seems fitting, then, to summarize Chapter 8 of Edwards and Hoover’s “The Challenge of Being Single” even though the topic of sex on a blog feels somewhat dicey… Again, I am struck how current this book still is – it was published in the early 1970s, yet so little has changed. For example, I think that this is still … Continue reading »
Apr 192009
I thought I’d write biased summaries of the book “The Challenge of Being Single” as I read it. Here are the first two chapters. The first chapter addresses the question “how come you’re not married?” Edwards suggests that society’s theme song toward singles is “there’s something wrong with you.” She goes further than identifying this, though: “This social contempt eventually brings about self-contempt. Like any group that has been constantly ignored or downgraded, singles come to believe what others say about them.” (18) She suggests that we are learning to create a need that is experienced so strongly that it … Continue reading »
Sep 302008
I usually just delete emails from authors who contact me with information to add to my website but this book just sounds too great: Princess Bubble. It’s a fairytale where the princess is happily ever after without getting married. Here’s an interview with the author. She wants to encourage her readers to find happiness with or without a man. If you read the book, please let us know how you liked it and if there was any singlism in there. Accidental singlism, rather, because from what it sounds like Princess Bubble did face some stigmatization because she still hadn’t found … Continue reading »
There are two aspects I want to focus on in my summary of Jennifer Hecht’s Happiness Myths: Wisdom gathered from history about happiness and the influence of money on our society. The book is very well written and contains much more insights, gained through taking a historical perspective, than I will touch on here.
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