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Ah, those holidays… — 2 Comments

  1. Love it! Turn the tables on those smug marrieds! 🙂 You know, it’s true that the married couples I know usually have a problem with at least one side of the family. At least one partner doesn’t enjoy seeing the in-laws, and that makes the holidays stressful. I, on the other hand, have no such obligations. I visit my own extended family (for the most part, I like them), and then I go home. I don’t envy my married friends one bit. I used to dream that when I got married, I’d have this new, big, warm family to hang out with. But the reality is that that’s just a fantasy, the familial equivalent of Prince Charming. In many cases, relations with the in-laws are awkward, strained, or downright hostile.

    @Paula: You are so right! Studies show that men in particular are more likely to leave their wives when they become seriously ill. Although I’ve never been married, my experience with partners has been that they don’t generally respond well when I’m not in good health. They become impatient for me to get well and frustrated with my limitations. I’m actually chronically ill now, and I’m so relieved I’m not in a relationship. I know it would lead to arguments, and it’s the worst thing to be emotionally stressed when you’re physically stressed, too.

  2. What a wonderful post. I dread the holidays because of forced time spent with people I don’t really like. I only see my family three times a year and we all live within 2 hours of each other. Actions speak louder than words. So I guess if I really wanted to see them, I would do so more often.

    Your post reminds me of a comment my mother-in-law made about my friend who was going through breast cancer and the subsequent chemo treatments. She said “Oh, poor Susan, she is all alone.” My friend is NOT alone, she is just not married or coupled with anybody. I angrily told my mother-in-law that I could not imagine going through chemo while having family obligations to children and a husband. My friend had myself and other friends who drove her to chemo and took her home. We went grocery shopping for her and ran other errands. She was very grateful and we happily helped her.

    My friend was very sick and very fatigued during chemo. Some days, she could not make it to work. She even said that she was glad she was not married while going through this. She said that she didn’t feel very attractive and couldn’t imagine having to be intimate during this time or having to come home from chemo to do laundry and cook. I brought up John Edwards and how he coped with his wife’s illness by having an affair. Just because someone is married or coupled does not ensure that that person will stand by you when you need them most.

    I love your comments about being alone. That is what I want for Christmas from my family….a day to spend by myself.

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